Sharp Shooter

Saturday, 9-26-09 (Day 11)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Today was a celebratory birthday lake bash for my sister-in-law where I was confined to a bathing suit all day long, extra five pounds, Dexamethasone love handle lard, bruised pooch and all.

I wasn't as self conscious as I was expecting to be, and I was really proud of myself for letting go and just having a good time. So proud, in fact, that I decided to treat myself to a cream soda. As I ignored the sugar content and began to drink in the creamy vanilla goodness, I looked down to see the bad words written on the side of the golden can:

Contains Caffeine.

And I had to drop it like it's hot, dang it.

Root beer is caffeine free, so I just assumed that cream soda would be too, but I was wrong. And as soon as I realized what had happened, I yelled over to my unsuspecting husband that he'd better ditch that cream soda before he kills any chance of good sperm that we have left, paying no mind to anyone else within earshot of my frantic warning.

I know. So dramatic.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): Despite the intense caffeine laden cream soda incident, my only other lake issue was the fact that I was still on my period and had to sport a tampon, against my better judgement. And since I'm experiencing a light flow and not used to wearing one anyway, it wasn't until 5pm when we were back safely on the dock that I just had to change it.

I hated that there was no privacy of a bathroom around for at least 45 minutes, but I hated the possibility of toxic shock syndrome-after more than ten hours of use-even more. So for fear of contaminating my pumpkin patch of organic follicles, I did what only I would do and squatted behind a large white pickup truck and made the exchange as quickly as possible.

Then I buried the evidence.

Sunday, 9-27-09 (Day 12)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Our friends took us out to Mexican this afternoon to celebrate our upcoming anniversary. The restaurant we went to is one of my favorites, mostly because they serve a small plate of delicious re-fried beans and feta cheese with your salsa and chips.

And they just keep refilling it.

I was enjoying it so much, that it took me about three refills to realize I was hogging the tiny plate and no one else was getting any. But even after several more refills, they still weren't saying anything.

They were probably too scared.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): The hot flashes, slightly throbbing headaches, and episodes of waking up several times a night are finally in full force, but it's nothing I can't handle.

Monday, 9-28-09 (Day 13)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Since I took this pill a little later than normal yesterday morning, I finally experienced a little of the insomnia the bottle warns you about. And since I don't always function the best in the am anyway, I was so out of it that I accidental chewed my Dexamethasone thinking it was my baby aspirin.

It wasn't good.

And then-while still in a daze and on my way to work-I tried to use my duplex's garage door opener to open the front door of my office building.

It didn't work.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): This is the end of the road for just one shot a day; because starting tomorrow I'll be doubling up and adding Follistim into the mix, and then just a couple days after that we'll be doing triple shots with the addition of Luveris.

I can't believe how close we are; in exactly one week I'll be lying in the doctors office finding out how many follicles are growing in my very own pumpkin patch, kicking off the beginning of what's beginning to feel like the story of my life.

Or the start of a new one.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

-Orson Welles