Tuesday, June 10, 2008


I am a social drinker.

Whenever I am around someone who decides to go to Starbucks, I pick up a Frapuccino and then I am hooked until I can force myself to stop running to Starbucks everyday to satisfy my new found craving. But there is hope; if I can force myself to make it a week without drinking one, the cravings usually stop. At least until my next social drinking binge.

I hate coffee, but for whatever reason I love Starbucks Mint Mocha Chip Frapuccino's with Carmel drizzle. And Venti ones at that. It wouldn't be such a bad habit if it weren't such an expensive one. These suckers are almost 5 bucks each, and that adds up real quick. And you know whats sad? I actually save up cash to pay for them, because I don't want my husband to see the receipts! Pathetic, I know. But the first step is realizing the problem, and I have. So starting tomorrow, no more Venti Frapuccino's. I'm going cold turkey. I need to be saving up all that extra cash to pay for an IUI, not spending it on my useless addiction to coffee drinks. All they do is give me stomach aches and headaches anyway.

Wish me luck.

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph."
-Thomas Paine

Monday, June 9, 2008


My mother and I teach Sunday School on Sunday mornings, and this week was my turn. The lesson was about the Israelites wondering through the wilderness and how they never seemed to be satisfied with what God gave them, they complained continually. The entire lesson was about how disagreeing with God or complaining about His plans for our lives can show a lack of faith.

It was a gentle reminder that it can be a mistake to disagree with God and to complain about what He gives us in our lives, we should be thankful for everything that comes our way-good & bad-and ask Him to forgive our sin of not trusting him. The lesson also talked about the sadness God feels when we fail to be thankful for what He has done for us, and his inability to bless us if we don't trust Him and His plan for our lives.

It was no coincidence that this weeks lesson fell on my Sunday to teach!

"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."
-Albert Einstein

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Jumping The Gun

So, how soon is too soon?

Since all of our blood work, tests and surgeries have checked out perfect, the next step for us would be to move on to IUI's. But like most fertility treatments, they are not cheap and they do not guarantee a baby. It's kind of like playing a guessing game. A very expensive guessing game.

So my question is when is enough enough? Would we be "jumping the gun" by starting IUI's before a certain amount of time has passed? And what is the magic number...18 months, 2 years, 5 years? I have chosen to give my burden over God, but does that mean that by considering fertility treatments I am picking that burden back up? I want to let God control the situation, but does that necessarily mean I should just sit back and do nothing?

Trust me, I know that I should be praying and asking God for wisdom and guidance through out this whole ordeal instead of asking you guys. I know that He will lead us in the right direction and provide us with the answers we need if we will just step out on faith and trust in Him. But sometimes I wish there were a specific section in the Bible dedicated to unexplained infertility.


Okay God, I hear you. I know you're trying to teach me several things throughout this trail, but I've learned so much already. Now, can I please have a baby?

"I want to know God's thoughts... the rest are details."
-Albert Einstein