I'll Call The Shots

Monday, 7-6-09 (Day 6)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): I'm up about 2 pounds from when I started, but again, probably more from my lazy eating habits and less from this pill. I'm going to have to start cracking down now that I'm so close to growing my eggs. Some of these little guys may end up being my future children, and I refuse to expose them at such an early age to massive amounts of frappachino caffeine.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): Today I dropped my dose down from 10units to 5units, as per my color-coded calendar's instructions, and will continue to remain at 5units for the duration of this cycle. The left side injection went perfectly, as less units means less stinging.

Last night was my last birth control pill, so I was officially allowed to disconnect the alarm I had set on my cell phone as a reminder of my 10pm estrogen fix. I'm not sorry to see them go, but I am curious to see what happens next. My calendar warns me to expect my period within the next few days, but since my overly excited uterus couldn't wait any longer I'm already on day 4 of my period. The nurse said it may stop and then come again, or it may just last for a very long time. We shall see.

Tuesday 7-7-09 (Day 7)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Further research shows these pills supposedly encourage your body to accept the embryo instead of treating it like it's a foreign object as it's trying to implant. Good to know there is an agenda behind this craziness.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): Today's right side injection went smoothly. Which reminds me, I've been receiving a lot of praise about how brave I am for giving myself most of these shots. I'm grateful, of course, but bravery hasn't been my true motivation. It was just out of necessity that I had to put on my big girl panties and suck it up, because my husband has the attention span of a toddler, bless his heart.

During my mothers demonstration I happened to have a few friends over who were thoroughly intrigued, giving the matter their undivided attention. However, we lost my husband to his e-mail right about the time my mother took the cap off the needle. I suppose it's my fault for leaving the laptop out where he could reach it.

So when he came at me last Wednesday morning with the intentions of giving me that first shot, I backed away and warned him to drop the needle before someone got hurt, and it wouldn't be me. We had a little talk this morning though, and he's showing interest and willingness to be more a part of this process so we're going to practice tonight and have him give it a shot (yes, pun intended) tomorrow.

Wednesday, 7-8-09 (Day 8)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Despite the fact that it's a steroid and causes unpleasant weight gain and ravenous hunger, I'm grateful for the ease of swallowing a pill amongst all the needles.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): As I was holding the ice pack to my left side, trying to numb the area before the injection, my husband dutifully measured out the 5units of lupron after sterilizing the bottle. I then reminded him to "pinch" some skin, to which he proceeded to grab the entire left side of my pooch in his bear claw hand.

All of it.

After redirecting his thick fingers to a smaller section of my skin, he continued slow and steady, but we both watched-and winced-as the needle poked hard at my tough skin, but not through it. I could tell he was a bit nervous, so I urged him to try again on another area, and this time the needle went through. Really through. So through, that I had to tell him to back it out a bit. And when he proceeded to inject the medicine, he subconsciously pushed so hard that from my birds eye view it looked as though my pooch was attempting to swallow both the needle and the entire syringe whole.

I love my husband dearly, he is truly an amazing, selfless man. He isn't disinterested in this process, it's just that I happen to have more of a take charge personality and he knows when to let me run with it; he's satisfied with watching for now as I dominate these smaller, subq injections. Along with this, I've also accepted the fact that Cabela's magazines will always hold presidence over my Real Simple and Martha Stewart Living subscriptions, football beats out reality TV any day, and our dog will always love him more. I married a simple, God fearing, NRA loving country boy; and to be quite honest, there's no doubt he wears the pants in our house.

But from now on, I'm calling the shots.

"I've always believed no matter how many shots I miss, I'm going to make the next one."

-Jonathan Swift