60 Days Of Abstinence

It's kind of ridiculous how much of our liquid IVF requires.

This morning I dropped off my husbands latest donation-this time for his urea plasma-giving the lab the final round of liquid necessary to complete our pre-IVF testing. I walked into the lab awkwardly displaying the partially filled plastic cup between my hands while trying to keep the sample warm.

Of course when I got there, I couldn't just do a quick drop-and-go. I had to sit in the waiting room clenching the cup between my thighs to keep it warm until they called my name. And when they did, I gathered my specimen and walked it up to the counter, casually setting it down in front of the phlebotomist while pretending like I wasn't really embarrassed to be toting around my husbands business. Then I sat there awkwardly with it between the two of us as I filled out yet another piece of paperwork, wondering if our previously warm sperm was dying on the cold Formica counter top.

Luckily it was just a one pager this time-mostly asking about time of retrieval, traveling temperature and length of abstinence-so I was out the door and back to work in relatively no time. But before I could fully enjoy the fact that my husband and I will finally be able to keep our blood, urine and sperm to ourselves for a while, I received a phone call from the lab.

I marked our latest abstinence period before this sample to be a length of 60 days on that darn paperwork.

What I meant to say was 60 hours.

So since I had obviously incorrectly marked the paperwork, the lab had to call and double check the information. I suppose it would be pretty crazy for them not to find something wrong with a patient that was trying to conceive yet remained abstinent for two full months. Hhhmm...Maybe we should give having relations more often a try before we jump into something as serious as IVF?

Hmph. If only it were that easy!

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."

-Bill Cosby