So, do you want the bad news first, or the good news?
Let's start with the bad news: low count, motility (37%) and morphology (2%) have officially pushed us from the "unexplained" category to the diagnosis of Male Factor Infertility. What the heck?!?! This basically means that it's still *possible* for us to conceive on our own-anything is possible with God-but it's highly unlikely, since our sperm is slightly sluggish and mostly, well...morphed. Our best chance at conceiving would be with IVF and ICSI.
Now the good news: after 25 months of wondering why we were unable to conceive, we now have an explanation. Even though being diagnosed with MFI isn't ideal, and having to go to the extremes of IVF to conceive our child is disheartening, at least we know what direction we need to go. And that's more than we've had in a long time.
More bad news: when I do get pregnant, these Doctors-the same ones that looked at our SA's over and over again for the last two years and said they were normal, continuing to do IUI's with inappropriately low post wash counts-are going to be delivering my future children. Scary.
More good news: Our new RE from down in Sacramento is great. He spent several hours with us after the appointment analyzing our situation with optimism and sensitivity that made us feel very comfortable, and we knew that God had sent us exactly where we needed to be. I also love Dr. Greene because he is a minimalist. He actually believes that most couples can achieve a pregnancy with little or no treatment just by eating healthier, exercising, and stress reducing. Once your body is healthy, and your hormones are balanced, a much better prognosis is likely to follow.
So there you have it. For the last few weeks leading up to this appointment, I found myself pleading with God to make whatever happens with our SA obvious, so we would know what we need to do. Out of 4 levels of MFI-MF1 being normal and MF4 being severe-we are MF3. I guess I got what I prayed for when God gave us what we needed to hear, loud and clear. We don't just have a problem that can be corrected with expensive vitamins, we have a problem that even after being on expensive vitamins for 3 months, can't really be solved.
Luckily for us, it's hard to feel so disappointed and defeated when everyone around us is thrilled-not about the diagnosis, but about what this diagnosis means. When I finished telling my mother all the details of our appointment, she didn't ask how I was holding up, what I thought about our situation or tell me she was sorry. She simply said without pity, doubt or reservation, "aren't you excited?!", and it was exactly what I needed.
We're not going to let this bump in the road get the best of us, we're going to fight back, letting God take something potentially dark and depressing and turn it into something worth celebrating!