A Blond With An OPK

Today I used one of my Clear Blue OPK's and got what I *thought* was a positive. Shoot. Honestly, what's the deal with these lines? It's never easy to tell if one is really "darker than" or "similar too" the test line, it's just way too tricky. So to be safe, I decided to hold my urine and try yet again 4 hours later...and saw the same thing. Just a little bit lighter. I think. Dang those sketchy blue lines, I just can't tell! And I can't call and schedule an IUI for tomorrow morning with a possible +OPK, it has to be the real deal.

So I ran like a mad women to Target where I purchased a ridiculously expensive pack of digital OPK's. My strategy was simple: use one more regular OPK test, then if it's still questionable break down and use a digital. Being the patient person that I am, I decided that 3 hours was close enough to 4 and into the cup went the regular OPK. After the required 2 minutes I saw a line that I'm pretty sure was even fainter than the last one. Dang it! So out came the directions for the digital. First remove the test stick, then locate the pink arrow, then remove the pink cap, then click into place, then dip in the cup, then lay vertically for...shoot. It's flashing an error at me! Of course it is. I am officially the queen of dysfunctional urine testing. Trying to remain calm, I un-click the stick, then click it back in, but it's still flashing at me. Seriously? So I reach for the piece-of-crud-test to eject the stick and put in a new one, and wait a minute...there's a digital smiley face! I swear if I would have had any urine left in me I would have peed my pants.

After a quick re-read through the directions I realized that the test is supposed to be flashing; that's your sign that it's working. No kidding. I should have known I'd run into trouble, these aren't your regular dip-stick OPK's Toto, these are high-tech digitals. And oh-my-goodness I haven't been this in love since I was introduced to progesterone. But you know what I would love even more? If in about two weeks I have a smile on my face that's even happier then the one on this test because the free digital pregnancy test that came with these OPK's turned up with the word Pregnant. That would be wonderful.

“It’s great to be blond. With low expectations it’s easy to surprise people”.
–Pamela Anderson