I found this excerpt on a fellow blogger's site, and thought it would be good to share with everyone, both fertile & infertile:
Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive advice. We can list all the most popular ones: just relax and you’ll get pregnant, just stop trying and you'll get pregnant, just adopt a baby that needs a home...of the most painful from those who think they’ve got the goods on God’s plan; maybe God never meant for you to have children. Excuse me? The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.
Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive advice. We can list all the most popular ones: just relax and you’ll get pregnant, just stop trying and you'll get pregnant, just adopt a baby that needs a home...of the most painful from those who think they’ve got the goods on God’s plan; maybe God never meant for you to have children. Excuse me? The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.
So, what do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
I think He meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down, making us stronger.
No, I don't believe that God's plan is for me to not have children. Infertility is not my destiny; it's merly a fork in the road that I’m on. I’ve been placed on the road less traveled. I’ve gained more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven’t let Him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment, and I am thankful for this trial. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I’ve ever known.
While I would never have chosen infertility, I can't deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice about what God's plan is for my life; I just may smile and kindly say “You don’t need to tell me why He handed me infertility. I'm pretty sure I already know."
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
-Mark Twain
-Mark Twain
3 comments:
OH MAN!!! We sure have a list!!! LOL!!! My "least" favorite one was when someone told me that "if I would just lose weight I would get pregnant!!!!!!!" AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOu know!!! I love the part about how a fertile woman will not know the joy we infertile ones do!! It is sooooo true. When you have to wait and pray and work for so long, when it happens you take NOTHING for granted and EVERY MOMENT is cherished!!! Love you Tabitha!!! KEEP ON TRUCK'N
I ran across your blog today from TTTC, I hope you don't mind I linked it! Your post is so true, I have said the same thing (not so eloquently). Infertility has made us stronger as a couple, and our baby when it finally makes it here will KNOW how loved and wanted it was. Good luck to you :-)
Very well said!!!
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