Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Babies vs. Bellies

I've come to the conclusion that my envy of a big fat pregnant belly far out ways my jealousy of a new mother with a tiny baby. Here's my reasoning:

-When I see a mother with her child, I see something that I will have someday. For me, a baby is an end result that is still attainable, although it may be difficult to reach. Whether it be naturally, with fertility treatments, or through adoption, I have hope that I too will be a mother some day.

-When I see a pregnant belly, I see something I have always wanted, but may never have. I want so badly to feel a baby do somersaults inside my tummy, to feel those little kicks and punches. I want to hear that heartbeat and see a grainy black and white image of my child on the computer screen, flipping around and around. I want morning sickness, cravings and weight gain. I want to be asked rude questions like, " far along are you?" and "oh, my! How many do you have in there?!" But more than anything, I want to hold my baby in my arms. I can't wait to see them, smell them, and choose the perfect name...

So there it is. I know I shouldn't be complaining, technically, there really is nothing wrong with my husband and real reason to believe that we may never achieve a pregnancy accept our track record of the inability to produce offspring thus far the last 18 months. It's so strange to think that I've spent most of my life wanting to be and/or stay skinny, but right now I can't help but covet those big fat pregnant bellies! Bring on those stretch marks!!!

“I still think people who get pregnant in their own homes and only see their doctors every 4 weeks are freaks of nature...”
-schmoodle, from the blog Busted Baby Maker