Thursday, July 10, 2008

Brokenness

I know, I know...I have been a horrible blogger.

After much prayer, my husband and I decided to take a two month break this summer before possibly turning to infertility treatments. I was surprised at how relaxing it was to not have to deal with OPK's, charting cervical mucous, and checking for spotting during that dreaded two week wait...it also helped that we spent most of the past month at a family trip on the coast and then at Church camp. (the weather at the coast was perfect and 14 souls were saved at church camp!) I was able to keep myself busy, and am proud to say that even when AF reared her ugly head right on schedule, I wasn't too discouraged.

But then we moved on to our second and final break-month, and after the craziness of our summer had come to an end I found myself experiencing a sort of "brokenness" that I had never felt before. It only lasted a few days, but it really brought me to my knees and sort of stripped me down, which is right where I think God wanted me to be so that He could pick up the pieces and heal me, proving once again that He's the only one that can fix our problems. Since then, I have realized how much time I spend in prayer when times get tough, and how little time I spend when things are going my way.

One of my weaknesses as a Christian is to only run to God when things are hard, asking for His strength and guidance. But it's important to remember that I need God just as much in the good times as in the bad times. I still need to lean on God even when things seem perfect, because that's when Satan attacks.

Now we are both praying that God will guide us in the decision to begin treatments if this month doesn't bring us a pregnancy. God is already opening up doors, and it's amazing to sit back and watch him work in our lives!

"Character cannot be developed in peace and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
- Helen Keller

2 comments:

Waletzko's said...

So So Proud of you. I once sang a solo called "come home runnin" and your blog reminded me of it.
"So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are"

WantWait&Pray said...

One of my good friends just sent me these to scriptures which I thought you might enjoy or find encouraging:
Zachariah 9:12
Come home, hope-filled prisoners! This very day I'm declaring a double bonus-
everything you lost returned twice-over! (The Message)

Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners who still have hope! I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of you troubles. (New Living Translation)

Return to the stronghold [of security and prosperity], you prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will restore double your former prosperity to you. (Amplified)

Luke 1:37
For nothing is impossible with God. And no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fullfilment. (Amplified)