Growing

I haven't had much luck growing babies lately.

So I've moved on to vegetables.

In attempt to keep TTC from becoming my idol again, I decided that I needed a new hobby, something to keep me focused and feeling productive. And since I can't seem to grow a baby, why not try and grow something else? We have Okra, Squash, Cucumbers, Tomatoes, Corn, Cilantro, Radishes, Zucchini and even Egg Plant. It's so amazing to watch God take such a tiny seed and turn it into a plant, I love watching them grow taller and stronger each day. And hopefully, as this garden grows...I will too.

"You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt. "
-Author Unknown

Again!?

My little sister is pregnant for the second time in 13 months.

Must be nice!

In all honestly, I am seriously, truthfully, thoroughly excited. Even though I wish it was me that was pregnant right now, I am proud to say I am extremely happy for her-and for me! I'm not going to lie and say I'm not jealous, but I think that's only natural. It's so surreal to look back and think that I started TTC before she was pregnant with her first baby, and now he is 6 months old and she is onto round two...You'd think it would be really difficult for me to see her go through the second pregnancy she's had since I started TTC, but it's not! (this prayer and giving-it-to-God stuff really works!) Honestly, I love being an auntie, and I can't wait for this new blessing to come.

“I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”

-Mother Teresa

Idols, Prayer & TTC

So we are having a revival at our church this week...it has been amazing! Bro. Rex Smith from Washington is our Evangelist and he is an extremely powerful speaker. The messages he has been bringing have really touched my heart.

On Monday night, he brought a message about idols. He reminded us that anything you put before God is an idol, anything. That includes TV, sports, food, friends...and TTC. It was a huge reality check for me. I know God has no problem with us trying to have a baby, and he even understands if it takes up a lot of my thought process. But when trying to get pregnant becomes an obsession, that's when it also becomes my idol. So Monday night I decided to give it to the Lord, which I've done before...but this time I decided to make a conscious effort not pick the burden back up at a later date! I won't stop trying, and I won't completely stop thinking about it (how could I?) but I will stop obsessing. I will give God total control and wait for him to bless us. His timing has always been impeccable, so why would this be any different?

Then on Tuesday we focused on prayer. It's amazing to me how something so simple can be so important. He compared the importance of praying to God with the importance of communicating with your spouse. Without communication, the relationships we have won't last. It's the same concept with God. He also reminded us of the power of prayer. The Bible tells us that if we believe, prayer can move mountains! There isn't a more powerful tool available to us than prayer. We should be talking to God constantly, thanking him for all he has blessed us with, and praying for others.

"God, grant my the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
- Reinhold Niebuhr

Babies Everywhere

Baby Isabella (my cousins baby) is here! She is 8 pounds, 12 ounces, and 20" long. She has thick dark hair and the cutest chubby cheeks ever!

The day before Isabella's birth, my best friend Jenny also had a 20 1/2" long, 9 pound 4 ounce little boy named Braecen. And about four weeks before that My friend Missy delivered Isaac James, weighing in at 8 pounds 12 ounces. All three babies are healthy and gorgeous! I used to think it would be so hard to see all of these new babies born into my family since my husband and I have been having trouble starting our own. I thought I would be so jealous and that it would be just too hard to see these new parents and their beautiful new babies. But really it's not bad at all. Even though I want a baby more than anything right now, its impossible not to fall in love with all of these new babies coming into our lives these past few months, even if they aren't our own. Besides, they are all family, so being an Auntie is kind of like being a mom...right?

Update in my world of "infertility": I had a Laproscoprocy done the day before Isabella was born, to check for blocked tubes, endometriosis and other problems. The results came back perfect...our Dr. actually called them "pristine". Everything is exactly as is should be!! So even though there is still no baby for us, we have hope that there will be soon...in God's time. Until then, we will just have to spoil all of these other babies and wait for our turn!

"To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime."
- Emily Dickenson