Wonderfully Ironic

I'm pretty darn happy in my world of infertility at the moment, so I can't think of anything to blog about. How ironic is that?

It's a great place to be, and I can't complain. Usually when I feel down, or I've been down and something has inspired me and lifted me up, I blog about it. But now I've lost my motivation to blog, and I can't find it anywhere. Huh. But I guess an update is in order, so that gives me somewhere to start.

Our baby break is going well, with one month of ridiculously expensive ConceptionXR vitamins for my husband down, two more to go. Hoping these vitamins improve his count, we have our first real R.E. appointment set for February down in Sacramento to get a proper sperm analysis. Until then, we just wait. And you know what? It's nice. But I still have my moments where I get anxious and panicky because it's almost been two years and we still don't have a baby. Sometimes I still get scared, feeling like we aren't doing any thing about this and we're running out of time. It must be my severe type A personality that just wants to take over, take control, and just do something. Anything.

But then I find peace, and I hold on to it as tight as I can.

This is the most amazing time of year. It's starting to snow a little, and the presents are all wrapped and under the tree. I'm officially at the age where I have more fun giving Christmas presents then receiving them. I have so much to be thankful for as this year comes to an end. I'm in such a good place.

And I'm enjoying this time, right now, infertility and all.

"If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time, not tomorrow or next year . . . Today should always be our most wonderful day."
- Thomas Dreier

Infertile Myrtles

Although I would never wish infertility on anyone, it's nice to have someone to go through it with you.

My friend Malinda is my fellow "Infertile Myrtle", she and her husband attend our church and we've known them for years. All though they haven't been TTC for as long as we have, they're still trying-and whether it's been 8 months or 23 months it still sucks-and we both get that.

The best part? She thinks I'm smarter than I really am. I've shamelessly taught her everything I know about IUI's, IVF, OPK's, statistics, betas, charting, cervical position, sperm, prenatal vitamins and pineapple. In turn, she has listened intently, taking note and sharing fascinating TMI stories! I guess it's just refreshing to know that all of my research is finally going to someone who can actually use it; I think my husband is really tired of hearing about sperm do's and do-not's, and my super-fertile sister probably knows more than she ever wanted to know about ovulation and cervical mucous...

So I'm really loving sharing this experience with someone, even if it's only for a little while. Malinda is the funniest, sweetest, most honest person ever and I pray God blesses her with her own little one soon.

"Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by doubling our joys and dividing our grief."
-Joseph Addison

Early Thanksgiving

My friend Rebekah and her husband were told that because of their PCOS and MFI, they would never have their own children without medical intervention.

I've always struggled with this. Of all the people to be given this burden, why her? I've never really questioned my own battle with infertility, but I have always questioned hers. She is one of the most faithful, spiritual women I've ever known. She was a fellow church member and our family babysitter, possessing a talent and gift for working with children that I will always envy. She was always a natural born mother, yet unable to produce her own children to love and nourish. I know that questioning God is never a good idea, but I often wondered why He chose her to fight this battle.

Seven years and two adopted children later, Rebekah is now miraculously, wonderfully, thankfully...pregnant.

Rebekah has been one of my most faithful inspirations during my battle with infertility, always there to offer up support, prayers, and encouragement. A constant reminder that God has a plan for us bigger than we could ever imagine, and He'll always carry us through the mentally and physically painful battle of infertility. This is a miracle, but it's no accident. God heard her prayers all these years, and because of her faithfulness, strength in Him, and His plan for her life, granted her this blessing that only He could provide. We serve an amazing, powerful, merciful God, and Rebekah's life-and this baby-are both testaments of what our God can do.

I don't have all the answers, and it's not my place to assume, but I now have my own theory as to why she'd been given this struggle. First of all she's strong, and God only gives us what we can handle. Because of this, she's been tried and tested, gaining life experience that she was then able to share with me. Second of all, without infertility her two precious adopted babies Ben and Hannah wouldn't be with her. And lastly, Rebekah, because of your struggle, mine has been made easier. Because of your victory, I've been given more hope than you'll ever know.

You-and this baby-are my early Thanksgiving.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
-Oprah Winfrey