Sunday, 1-24-10 (Day 26)
Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Operation get skinny is in full affect as of today.
Well, not get skinny, since I'd really rather get fat with child, but you know what I mean.
My husband and I started a quick fad diet today called the mayo clinic diet that consists of only twelve days of eating a combination of meat, vegetables, salads and grapefruit juice. I'm in no way a fan of quick fad diets, especially shady ones like this that seem to good to be true and involve no fruit, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
If done properly, the diet claims to give me the exact jump start I need by enabling me to loose approximately ten pounds in twelve days.
Ciprofloxacin (500mg, oral pill): Still just a big, expensive, nausiating white pill.
Dostinex (.5mg, oral pill): Other than the obnoxious consitipation that I've never experienced in previous cycles, this pill has done an amazing job of making me feel better after the retrieval.
PIO (1ml, IM injection): The heating pad is my best friend.
Monday, 1-25-10 (Day 27)
Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Check.
Ciprofloxacin (500mg, oral pill): Check.
Dostinex (.5mg, oral pill): Check.
PIO (1ml, IM injection): Check.
Embryo Report (Day 3): I'm sorry for the above lack of whitty remarks on all of my pills and PIO injection, but I'm just not feeling up to trying to be funny today. I'm having a hard enough time just sitting here at work, trying to hold it together, pushing back the tears that are threatening to spill out at any minute.
Just a few minutes ago I recieved the call that out of the nine mature embryos, eight of them did in fact fertilize, and that's great news. But what's not so great is the grades and amount of cells that each of them hold. As of today, we have:
(1) 6-celled grade 3
(1) 5-celled grade 2
(1) 5-celled grade 3
(1) 4-celled grade 2
(3) 4-celled grade 3
(1) 2-celled grade 1
Keeping in mind that a grade of three is the worst grade possible, we realize that more than half of our embryos probably won't make it. And with at least 8-cells being ideal by day three, our highest graded embryo is only at 2-cells, which suggests that it may have arrested and is no longer growing.
Even though the embryologist doesn't like to disturb the embryos unless absolutely necessary, the lab will make a special exception for us since we live several hours away and check on them all tomorrow, letting us know if we have any quality embryos left for the transfer on Wednesday.
Our hope is that our 5-celled and 4-celled grade two embryos make it to the blast stage and don't lessen in quality while doing so. And if our little 2-celled grade one embryo would start to grow, that would be greatly appreciated.
I know God has a plan. I know with Him, all things are possible. I know I should remain optimistic and hopefull for a miracle, and greatful that I even have embryos growing at this point. I know that all things work together for good to those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.
But sometimes I just don't understand.
Tuesday, 1-26-10 (Day 28)
Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): After yesterday's not so good news of our slow growing embryo report, I threatened several times to kill our diet by making a delectable Betty Crocker Rainbow Chip cake with matching frosting, with full intentions of consuming the entire thing myself.
But I held strong and decided not to give in; at least not until drastic measures like the possibility of finding out our cycle is canceled come into play.
Because if that's the case, all bets-and diets-are off.
Ciprofloxacin (500mg, oral pill): Skipped it.
Dostinex (.5mg, oral pill): Took it.
But only because it helps me to heal, and has nothing to do with the transfer process.
PIO (1ml, IM injection): It's hard to take these massive injections when you're not sure if you still need them or not.
So I skipped it.
My husband tried his best to talk me into it, but there was no way I was letting him stick me with this long, thick needle tonight. And after he saw my face-and knew I was serious-he put away the PIO and left the matter alone.
Embryo report (Day 4): Sadly, today's news is hardly better than yesterdays. Currently, the embryos we have in culture have made what our embryologist has called "no appreciable change", which basically means they just aren't growing, although they haven't yet arrested.
Alas, we are scheduled for a six day transfer on Thursday, in hopes that one extra day in culture will give the embryos we have the time they need to reach the coveted blast stage.
And if they don't, our cycle will be canceled.
Wednesday, 1-27-10 (Day 29)
Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Now on day four of our new diet and down a surprising four pounds, my theory that this little blue pill is the devil is proving to be wrong.
Ciprofloxacin (500mg, oral pill): Just a few more left.
Dostinex (.5mg, oral pill): Easy.
PIO (1ml, IM injection): For the first time ever, it took three attempts to make this shot happen, mostly due to the fact that I tried to be a tough girl and ditch the ice pack before the injection.
That won't be happening again.
Embryo Report (Day 5): Oh ye of little faith...
God must have spent the past few days looking down on me from up in Heaven, slowly shaking His head back and forth in disappointment, mumbling this famous biblical line while watching me struggle, loose faith, and almost give up.
Yet somehow, despite my lack of faith, He didn't give up on me.
After waiting on pins and needles all day, we received the call that three of our precious embryos were still growing, with two of them at the blast stage and one of them still fighting to grow but stuck at the stage just before becoming a blast.
They are all a grade three, but I don't care.
As long as our three remarkable, slow growing fighters hold on and make it through the night, pushing as hard as they can to become expanded blasts in the next twelve hours, our six day transfer is set for 9am tomorrow.
So with a humbling sense of amazement at God's faithfulness, mixed with a renewed faith and hope for what tomorrow may bring, I'll continue to pray for the development of our remaining embryo blessings.
And wonder why I ever doubted miracles in the first place.