Monday, November 2, 2009

Private Practice

In light of our second failed IVF cycle, I'm considering setting my blog to private.

When I started this journey, I didn't think twice about displaying my life for the public to see. Friends, family members, and fellow blogger's that I've never met in real life have given me encouragement and feedback that have helped me out tremendously, with the exception of a few weirdo's and their crazy comments.

But my life isn't the only one on display.

Although I'm abnormally indiscreet about all things infertile and medical, out of respect of my very discrete husband I'd like to try a private blog for a few months, just as we struggle with decisions that will lead to our next steps in the future. He didn't ask me to do this, and in fact he knows nothing about this, but close friends and family members follow this blog that place my husband and our life out on display for the world to see. And although I brought this upon myself by choosing to share our journey with everyone, sometimes it's hard to live under a microscope.

Even when you created the microscope yourself.

There is nothing secretive going on, and we aren't trying to hide anything from our loved ones and good friends. We still don't know what the future holds, or what our next steps will be, and I'm not sure if I'll even follow through with making this blog private. In fact, I may just take a nice long break and focus on my God, my health, and my husband. But either way, I want each and every one of you to know how much your prayers, support and love have meant to us.

I don't want to loose any readers, so I hope that everyone will send me an email at Tab2710@aol.com to request to be added to the list that can access my blog if I do choose to make this a private practice. If I know you in real life, I probably won't be granting you access during this time, but please know that I love you and appreciate your prayers. I'm just trying my best to make this blog as real as possible, and that may require some honesty that could possibly be difficult for me to convey properly knowing that people we love interact with on a daily basis are reading.

Please know that I love you and I thank God for you every day; but I need to try something different.

“Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary. And when you want them back? Good luck with that one.”
-Margret Cho

19 comments:

hopefuls #1 said...

I would love to continue to follow you and watch your journey develope... however it's hard to follow when blogs are private... I understand that it's hard to display your entire life without knowing who is watching and it's easy when it's just you... a baby doesn't need that publicity... I'd like to continue reading... I'll send you an email now.

Summer @ B is for Brown said...

i am always here for you. you know this. of course i want to continue to follow. i will email you!

Brittney said...
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Brittney said...

I would completely understand if you do decide to make your blog private. This is such a private journey and I think it's unusual that this community is so open to everyone about their personal experiences. I would love to still follow you.

I think you're a beautiful person, and your abiding love for your husband and for the Lord I admire so much. You're in my daily prayers.

Melissa said...

I've just recently been following you and totally understand if you go private. Its an emotional journey as well as stressful deciding what your going to do next. I tried posting something a couple of weeks ago after finding out your cycle failed but what I wrote just didn't seem right. Thinking of you.

Stephanie said...

You know I will respect whatever decision you decide to make!
I just emailed you though! :)

Meagan said...

I am not someone you know in person, and I don't know if I've ever commented, but reading your blog is so inspirational and I find myself keeping you and your husband in my prayers constantly. I do hope that I can continue to follow your blog if you choose to make it private, but I understand if not. You will still have a few minutes of my prayer time!

Blessed said...

i would like to follow

angel8443@aol.com

Mrs. Hammer said...

I completely understand your need for a private blog. This journey is difficult enough. I think it's a wise decision to make your blog private to your IRL friends/family when you have some huge decision ahead of you both. Hammer and I are in the same place. Basically you have my support :) I'd love to continue following your blog if it goes private. You continue to be in my prayers.

Robin said...

That's totally understandable. You know there are parts of our story we haven't shared on the blog for that very reason. My close blogger friends (that's you, my dear!) and our best friends know but our family doesn't know as much. I would love to keep following your journey! I know the Lord has amazing things planned for you!!!

WantWait&Pray said...

I completely respect that decision and have been thinking of turning mine to private too so that I can open up a bit more with pictures, etc. I want my blog to be a personal keepsake for my babies throughout pregnancy and so keeping things "vague" is a bit tricky. I'll be emailing you sweetie!

Mrs. Amanda said...

Totally understandable. Please keep me on your reader list, if possible.

Lindsay said...

I have read your blog (and a few others) as a way to try to be more sensitive and understanding of my sister-in-law and cousin who are currently walking the journey of infertility. I pray for you all often and appreciate you sharing your life with us.

Carrie said...
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Carrie said...

Thank you so much for sharing so honestly your journey with us all. I will be forever grateful for the insight you provided for me as I struggled to find a way to understand (technically, her reactions, and her feelings) and support and love my sister in law through her journey with infertility. And while I will not be reading your shared thoughts anymore, you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hillary said...

I just emailed you :)

Eggs said...

I understand 100%. I often cringe at the thought of my blog getting into the wrong hands - someone from my past who is judgmental...totally different situation from yours, but I definitely understand. It is hard to be public about something that can be so painful. So congratulations on completing that exercise, but now you are trying something new...so go for it. I would love to be included in your private list of viewers. I really enjoy reading your blog.

Nicole said...

Been thinking about you and hope you are feeling good :)

Michelle said...

I completely understand your desire to make your blog private. It's nice to be able to voice your frustrations and accomplishments. I know that God has a wonderful plan for you and your husband. Sometimes it's hard to see His plan, but I know that soon you'll be able to look back at this difficult time and see what He was trying to teach you. I just wrote on my blog that just when I think I've got the whole trusting in God thing down, He stretches me for more. I'd love to continue following your journey. I'll e-mail you.