Triple Shot

Thursday, 10-1-09 (Day 16)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Grapes.

I can't get enough grapes.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): Easy.

Follistim (225units, subQ injection): Tonight I agreed to watch my two nephews for a few hours while my sister and brother-in-law ran around town. So with two under the age of two and my injection schedule falling dangerously close to bath, bottle and bed time, everything was a little crazy.

Just how I like it.

As my husband and I tried as quickly as possible to set everything out and get the injections going, the youngest was crying and drooling on the kitchen floor-wanting to be picked up-and the oldest was trying to create a mural on my walls and linoleum flooring with his crayons.

It made us seriously think twice about what we were about to do.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection): I was scared. Petrified, actually. After last cycles craziness where I inadvertently administered a super concentrated dose of this medicine for lack of paying attention-twice-I was terrified of messing up again. So my heart was racing as I pulled apart the first tiny box and set out my vials, the directions, and an alcohol wipe.

And that's when the trouble began.

The e-mail from my nurse coordinator called for a 3cc syringe, but all I could find was a 1cc syringe. Knowing it would work but wanting to follow the directions to a "T", I dug in my excess needle bag and found a 3ml syringe.

And then I had a brain fart.

For some unknown reason, someone decided that a ml should be the same thing as a cc, but with a different name. This I knew, but I was scared and nervous and being completely ridiculous, so I froze. I called my mother, then my sister, and after neither of them answered, I called my friend Jenny (who's also a nurse) just to make sure a ml was in fact equivalent to a cc.

After my frantic phone calls confirmed what I already knew, I read the directions another twenty-million times and finally drew out the 1ml of dilutent and inserted it into the powder vial, gently turning it between my fingers until it was completely dissolved. As I watched the powder liquefy and turn perfectly clear, my paranoia faded to relief.

And then it was time to draw it out. This freshly mixed vial full of 1ml of liquid was enough for two of my 1/2ml shots, so all I had left to do was draw out half with one needle, and half with another, which of course ended up being much easier said than done.

By the time I was finished fighting with the tiny, air tight vial and the clumsy, bulky needles, I had more than half of the mixture in one syringe, and less half in the other.

Never a dull moment.

Friday, 10-2-09 (Day 17)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): We left for my in-laws today, so I'm pretty sure I'll be eating nothing good for me this weekend, because I'm lacking the self control to make good food choices while away from home.

Might as well just accept it now.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection):I'm just amazed at how proud I am of the amount of bruising covering my belly from these injections.

Follistim (225units, subQ injection): Even after four full days of stimulation drugs, my hard working ovaries are still feeling amazingly normal. Absolutely no twinges, pains, cramps, soreness or bloating.

My body was made for this.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection):Tonight's injection was practically foolproof because I was just using the leftovers from last nights injection.

If only it were always this easy.

Saturday, 10-3-09 (Day 18)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Still taking them; still eating.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection):When I ordered my medication for this cycle, I didn't have to order any more Lupron because someone graciously donated all that I needed, and I still had enough left over syringes from my first batch to get me through.

Or so I thought.

Of course I waited until I was down to the last syringe to go and look for more in my bag of extra syringes, and I found that I was indeed lacking the small ones measuring in units that I use for my Lupron injections.

Because having the right amount of needles would be too perfect right now.

Follistim (225units, subQ injection): Because we don't know how many day's this week I'll be driving to Sacramento to be monitored, my husband and I decided that it would be best for him to go home tonight and I'll stay here at his parents house, which is much closer to the doctors office. That way, he won't miss anymore work than he has too, and I won't have to drive as far.

So tonight, he resumed his duties one final time and gave me my Follistim injection. He's always been in charge of the Follistim Pen, so I was instructed to watch very closely to avoid a probable disaster as I inject myself tomorrow night, completely unattended.

It's fairly easy, but it's just always been his contribution to this process, and I couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed as he walked me through the steps of loading and injecting the medication. After he was sure that I had it down he packed his bags and left, leaving me standing there with a new bruise and another injection to manage.

Then my hormones kicked in, and I fought back the tears.

Which is pretty ridiculous because after all, I'm the one that cooked up this crazy idea in the first place. This bright idea came into play when I figured it only takes one of us to attend the follicle check on Monday, and I happen to be the one with a vagina and a pumpkin patch.

But he's the one with the Follistim skills.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection): After my mini breakdown, I had to suck it up and finish my injection duties. Still slightly paranoid about messing up this delicate mixing of medicine, I reread my printed out instructions another fifty-million times and followed them exactly.

But I still ended up with more than half in one syringe, and less than half in the other.

Sunday, 10-4-09 (Day 19)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): I just hope this tiny little pill does it's job and holds up it's end of the bargain, keeping my body from rejecting those precious embryos that we'll be implanting in the next few weeks.

And I hope my follicles hold up their end of the bargain and we make it that far.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): My mother saved the day and raid the hospital for enough unit syringes to hold me over until tomorrows appointment.

Follistim (225units, subQ injection): Once again, I'm at my in-laws church that happends to run an hour later than ours does at home, and I'm forced to shoot up in the kitchen as the clock strikes 6:30pm.

Only this time, I'm doing it alone.

Without my husband in tow to manage the lookout, I resorted to opening the industrial sized fridge door and attempting to hide behind it, all while nervously handling my very first Follistim injection. With my left hip acting as a door stop, I reached over to the counter and put together the pen. Then I opened the alcohol swab and lifted up my dress, trying in one swift motion to swipe and stick.

But when you don't let the alcohol dry, that sucker burns.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection):Then it was time for the luveris. Luckily, this was another left over of a two part injection, so it was already mixed and in the syringe, ready to go. But because I was bleeding from my Follistim injection, I had to take a few seconds to clean up my pooch before bringing more damage to the site, all while still indecently exposed and propping open the ginormous fringe door.

And just as the Luveris cap was off and ready to inject, I heard someone coming.

Faster than I ever thought I could move while half naked and wearing 3" stilettos, I dropped my dress-and the injection-slamming the fridge door and casually leaning up against it like it's normal to hang out by the fridge while everyone else is sitting in church services.

And I waited.

But no one came. because It turns out I had mistaken the ice maker for someone stomping down the hall, on their way to expose me and my floral panties. So after I pulled myself together-and picked my injection up off the floor-I opened the fridge back up, repositioned my self and my dress, and finished the job.

Simple and easy are overrated anyway.

"Life is filled with a lot of stuff, you know. There should never be a dull moment."
-Bea Arthur