Thursday, October 8, 2009

Retrieval Day {Part II}

Thursday, 10-8-09 (Day 23)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Because of today's retrieval and it's crazy no-eating-or drinking-after-midnight-the-night-before rules, this pill wasn't taken until this evening. I hope it's insomnia doesn't rob me of the sleep that both my mind and body are lacking.

Ciprofloxacin (500mg, oral pill): Quite a bit larger than it's tiny co-workers, this horse pill is harder to swallow than the rest. But it's an anti-biotic, and I'm desperate to do anything I can to keep my body ready for implanting in just a few short days.

So until then, bigger is better.

Dostinex (.5mg, oral pill): So far I haven't experienced any side effects of this tiny white pill; in fact I think it's E2 reducing powers are keeping me from swelling and bloating, and for that I am grateful.

PIO (1ml, IM injection): And we're back to the big shots.

Hopefully these stick around for the next few months this time.

Clindamycin (150mg vaginal suppository): It almost feels inappropriate to be writing about this little rocket shaped suppository that is shoved into a very private place, but for the sake of daily documentation of all things IVF, I must continue for one more day.

Egg Retrieval: After forcing my brain to shut down and try it's hand at sleep last night, I woke up with a peace and joy that can only be attributed to all the the prayers of our dear family and friends. My brain still struggled and debated, gently swaying between fear and happiness, but there was a present calm amidst the storm.

As we packed our bags and left for Sacramento for the third time this week, I kept praying and selfishly asking God to work His magic in today's retrieval. And then I would feel bad, because I realized I should be asking God to help others, like Noelle as she has her second beta today, and Summer as she struggles with receiving a negative result from her latest IVF, and Robin as she grows her precious miracle inside of her, just to name a few. So I'd stop and ask God to intervene for others and their needs, but then I'd find my self heading right back to my own again, going boldly to the thrown and making my requests made known to God.

Because praying is really all I can do.

As soon as we arrived at the office, we were promptly asked to sign papers, and my husband and I were immediately taken in two different directions; his to make his contribution to our precious pumpkins, and mine into the restroom to empty my bladder and change into the appropriate garb. I was then rushed into the pre-op room where my temperature and blood pressure were taken, and my IV was inserted.

Before I could ask if I would see my husband before being put under, I was whisked into the operating room and felt a surprising gust of cool air hit my naked behind as the anesthesiologist lifted up my gown and sat me on the end of the hard, sterile table. Suddenly I was surrounded by nurses and the doctor, all pulling at different parts of my barely clothed body, scooting me down on the table and lifting my legs into the stirrups.

I remember feeling embarrassingly exposed in a rare moment of modesty, and then I was out.

I woke up asking how many eggs were retrieved, and when the nurse said 22 I thought I was still dreaming. I must have asked her and anyone else in the room several more times, but I kept getting the same answer, until it finally sank in that really, truly retrieved 22 precious pumpkin follicles.

And then I started crying.

At that point the doctor walked in and immediately rushed to my side, disturbed by my tears and asking if I was in any pain. I assured him I was feeling fine, I was just so incredibly happy. Everyone was staring at me like I was insane, and all I could manage to do was cry and babble about the surprising number of follicles that were removed from my once shamed but newly reclaimed rockstar ovaries.

God is good, and although He proved again today that He is in control and in the business of answering prayers, we still aren't out of the woods yet. The doctor said that out of our pumpkin patch of 22 follicles, 7 of them seem to be mature, but he's keeping his eye on 4 or 5 others. We won't know the true amount of mature and fertilized embryos until tomorrow morning though, so once again we're doing our best to hurry up and wait.

The pain of last times results are still fresh in my mind, and there is still a piece of my heart that is just waiting to be broken by a sudden change in direction from tomorrows phone call. But I'm continuing to pray that God blesses and holds our precious pumpkins in His hands, ripening them and maturing them and allowing as many to fertilize as possible, as only He can do.

Because in Him, anything is possible; and pumpkin growing is a piece of cake.

"To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."
-Author Unknown


Suzanne said...

I'm praying for you! Your posts are always so inspirational and I admire how you are always able to keep a positive attitude. Best of luck to you!

WantWait&Pray said...

I'm praying for you. You are so right, pumpkin growing is a piece of cake for the Big Guy! I was reminded of that last night while I drove home from my friends house (about a 40 min. drive) and prayed the entire drive. I looked up at the sky, the moon, the trees swaying and reminded myself that God created life out of nothing at all. He created every tree, put every star in the sky...surely my requests are so little compared to his mighty power that built a universe?
This is all in His hands confident in that and know that with your sweet pumpkins out of your body and in the hands of the Dr and lab....God is watching over them and protecting them. I am praying for you hun!

The Wilson's said...

As always, thinking and praying for you and your pumpkin patch. God is good!


I came across your blog from another blog and noticed that you mentioned Sacramento. I live in Yuba City and did my infertility treatment first at UC Davis and then Northern California in Roseville.

Even those it has been a few years now, I still remember all the feelings like it was yesterday. My prayer is that you will have a a peace that passes all understanding!

Nicole said...

22 is wonderful! I can't imagine how raw the pain of your previous cycle still is in your mind and heart- I never had the strength to go forward right away. I'm doing IVF again now and the failures of my cycle two YEARS ago are haunting me! They feel like yesterday. It took me this long to gear up again. You are very strong, and very faithful. God loves you and will take good care of your future babies.
Praying that this will be His method for delivery!!!

Mrs. Hammer said...

I hope you got good news this morning! We're praying for you!!

t.bird said...

oh my- 22!!! that is aaawesome. i'm praying this is it!!! <3
and didn't you hear? there was a pumpkin shortage this year, but now they're back in full force ;)
God is good!

Kelli said...

WOW! That is a lot of eggies! Praising God for your lil pumpkins and looking forward to hearing about your embies!

Hillary said...

Praying for you, Tab!! And checking for updates :)

J said...

Wow! That is an awesome number! I'm so happy for you and pray that this is the one. Can't wait to hear the great fert. report!

Meagan said...

I just found your blog through B is for Brown. I hope everything went well and you and your family are in my prayers.