Monday, June 29, 2009

Something New

I feel like I'm starting a new chapter.

When I came into work this morning after a week at church camp that was amazing, relaxing, and a wonderful break from the real world, I couldn't believe that my tickers were telling me I only had 2 day's left before I become a raging, hormonal mess, and it was time to order the weapons that would turn me into such.

They should be here tomorrow.

And on Wednesday, I will begin to administer the Lupron shots that are expected to give me some crazy headaches, and the Dexamethasone steroid pill that will start to prepare my body to house an embryo without rejecting it, but will also cause me to house those last few pounds I've been trying so hard to loose.

I've been blogging for as long as I can remember about decisions and steps taken to begin a new medical process that will help me to shed my label of infertility. I've asked for advice, prayed for guidance, readied myself mentally, physically, and spiritually. But now it's time to finally embrace the possibility that I will soon be watching a screen with a flickering heartbeat that will have made these last 30 months completely worth it.

Because in less than 48 hours, I'll finally stop talking and start doing as I begin a six week long journey of shots, pills, blood draws, painful exams, retrievals, transfers, and betas. My entries will start to become more frequent as I finally begin to document a process that I've been learning and writing about for as long as I can remember.

This is what I've been praying for, waiting for, what I've been preparing my mind and body for since last February. My hope and faith is in God, that He will use these doctors and nurses as tools in an amazing plan He has for my life. I will trust their opinions, follow their direction, and pray that in the end, we are blessed with the family we've always wanted.

I'm so excited to finally start this new adventure, and I feel so blessed to have this opportunity.

I just can't believe it's already here.

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."
-Author Unknown

16 comments:

Lisa said...

Best of luck to you!!! This is a new chapter, and hopefully one that will bring you that baby you have been praying for!!

b is for brown said...

I am thrilled for you! This will be an amazing journey. I start Lupron on Friday. I have caught up to you! I cannot believe it is all happening so quickly. I feel like I have waited for so long for this. You are an inspiration to me in so many ways!

Dianne said...

Good Luck, good luck, good luck!!! We are all here for you!

Robin said...

The time will fly by too! The drugs aren't that bad (I'm blaming my reaction on my wonderful personality and I'm certain you are far too sweet to be affected by the hormones) and even if you start to feel a little off, the excitement will take over pretty quickly. The shots are really a breeze! I just hold a cold water bottle over the injection site for a few minutes to help with any bruising or swelling but they don't hurt. You'll do great! I'm praying for you both!!!

BB said...

Good Luck... I start my Lupron day after! :) I am so excited and nervous at the same time!

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

i wish you nothing but the best as you begin this journey. it is a difficult, exciting and trying one, but you can do it. and you can become a mother through it!!

Stephanie said...

Best if luck to you!! I wish you nothing but the best!
I cant wait to follow your journey with you and see that forst u/s pic coming soon! :)

Hillary said...

Sweetie, I am seriously SO EXCITED for the start of your cycle tomorrow!!

Jennifer said...

It's finally here Tab! I'm hopeful and very optimistic that ivf will be the answer to your prayers. Best of luck!

JackieMac said...

I am wishing you the best of luck

Rebekah said...

Good luck!! I hope you are able to avoid most of the side effects from the meds like I did! Either way, I'm praying it will be well worth it!!

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh! This is such an exciting time for you. I'm so happy that your journey is beginning. I will be praying for you and hoping for the best!! Good luck!
~Michelle

Kelli said...

Tabitha!! I'm so excited for you! You've been anxiously awaiting this cycle for 5 months and the next 6 weeks will fly by! I'm praying for you and hoping for wonderful news soon! xo

Suzanne said...

I'm praying for you! HUGS!

ASHELY said...

all I can say, is that i just got goose bumps all down my arms. I hope that this is it for you. I wish you nothing but luck. and you have my prayers!

ac44 said...

Hey girl! I found you through Robin's blog and I have been praying for you!