Unexpected

When we hit our one year mark of TTC, we didn't head to a Reproductive Endocrinologist like most couples. Instead, we switched Gynecologists, because the closest RE is 3 hours away and not covered by insurance. So when I met my new gyno at my annual last year, I was excited to see that he was more aggressive than the last and more willing to help us. He still gave me the you're-still-both-young-and-healthy-so-I-wouldn't-worry-it's-only-been-one-year speech, but he suggested an HSG to ease my mind. After the HSG came back clear, and a few more months passed, he indulged me in a LAP even though he didn't think it was necessary. Turns out he was right, everything was once again, perfectly normal.

A few months later, and a year and a half into our journey, we headed back to my gynecologist who finally referred me to one of his colleagues who could perform an IUI for us to help mother nature along.

Enter in our current Gyno, Dr. "P".

We liked him right away. He was warm and friendly, and most importantly optimistic. After reviewing our files and our unexplained diagnosis, he gave me a prescription for 50mg of clomid and instructions to come back in a few weeks. When I returned, we did a sonogram and found a beautiful follicle measuring almost 30mm. He sent me home with a trigger shot and told me to come back the next morning for our first IUI. After the IUI was complete, he patted me on the leg and said "well, we had about 2 million sperm post wash, which is the minimum, but this should do the trick".

It didn't. And neither did the second IUI, which was performed with even less sperm.

Our story picks up after the second failed IUI, which was about 4 months ago. Since then, we have contacted an RE who was offering free consults during infertility awareness week back in October, and have been instructed to use ConceptionXR vitamins for 3 months and then return next month for a "proper" sperm analysis.

So there I was yesterday, receiving my annual exam and filling Dr. P in on what the RE had told us during our phone consult. He seemed confused, until he pulled out my charts to study the previous SA's, and finally realized that although our overall sperm count is great, our quality may not be great, and that could be where the low post-wash numbers are coming from. Then he tells us that if we visit the RE for another SA and our numbers aren't up, he wouldn't recommend any more IUI's. And at that point our best-and possibly only-chances of conceiving would be with IVF, which we've considered and will do if necessary, but still have some reservations about. And since explaining these sensitive ethical issues would be a post of it's own, here's a link to an entry in the blog Me Vs. You, called The Ethics of IVF where our exact thoughts are displayed perfectly by Rachel.

So yesterday I went in for my annual gynecologist appointment with intentions of discussing my never ending spotting issues, but instead,came out with IVF handouts, packets, and Dr. referrals. Not exactly what I expected. But then again, nothing about infertility is what I expected. Infertility itself was unexpected.

We're relieved to finally have some answers, even knowing that the odds of receiving great SA numbers next months are against us. But we also know that God is in control, and with Him, anything is possible. So now we wait, anxious to see what February's SA will hold, waiting and praying once again, for the unexpected.

“Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day.”

-Ann Landers