Friday, January 30, 2009

Unexpected

When we hit our one year mark of TTC, we didn't head to a Reproductive Endocrinologist like most couples. Instead, we switched Gynecologists, because the closest RE is 3 hours away and not covered by insurance. So when I met my new gyno at my annual last year, I was excited to see that he was more aggressive than the last and more willing to help us. He still gave me the you're-still-both-young-and-healthy-so-I-wouldn't-worry-it's-only-been-one-year speech, but he suggested an HSG to ease my mind. After the HSG came back clear, and a few more months passed, he indulged me in a LAP even though he didn't think it was necessary. Turns out he was right, everything was once again, perfectly normal.

A few months later, and a year and a half into our journey, we headed back to my gynecologist who finally referred me to one of his colleagues who could perform an IUI for us to help mother nature along.

Enter in our current Gyno, Dr. "P".

We liked him right away. He was warm and friendly, and most importantly optimistic. After reviewing our files and our unexplained diagnosis, he gave me a prescription for 50mg of clomid and instructions to come back in a few weeks. When I returned, we did a sonogram and found a beautiful follicle measuring almost 30mm. He sent me home with a trigger shot and told me to come back the next morning for our first IUI. After the IUI was complete, he patted me on the leg and said "well, we had about 2 million sperm post wash, which is the minimum, but this should do the trick".

It didn't. And neither did the second IUI, which was performed with even less sperm.

Our story picks up after the second failed IUI, which was about 4 months ago. Since then, we have contacted an RE who was offering free consults during infertility awareness week back in October, and have been instructed to use ConceptionXR vitamins for 3 months and then return next month for a "proper" sperm analysis.

So there I was yesterday, receiving my annual exam and filling Dr. P in on what the RE had told us during our phone consult. He seemed confused, until he pulled out my charts to study the previous SA's, and finally realized that although our overall sperm count is great, our quality may not be great, and that could be where the low post-wash numbers are coming from. Then he tells us that if we visit the RE for another SA and our numbers aren't up, he wouldn't recommend any more IUI's. And at that point our best-and possibly only-chances of conceiving would be with IVF, which we've considered and will do if necessary, but still have some reservations about. And since explaining these sensitive ethical issues would be a post of it's own, here's a link to an entry in the blog Me Vs. You, called The Ethics of IVF where our exact thoughts are displayed perfectly by Rachel.

So yesterday I went in for my annual gynecologist appointment with intentions of discussing my never ending spotting issues, but instead,came out with IVF handouts, packets, and Dr. referrals. Not exactly what I expected. But then again, nothing about infertility is what I expected. Infertility itself was unexpected.

We're relieved to finally have some answers, even knowing that the odds of receiving great SA numbers next months are against us. But we also know that God is in control, and with Him, anything is possible. So now we wait, anxious to see what February's SA will hold, waiting and praying once again, for the unexpected.

“Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day.”
-Ann Landers

6 comments:

Ashley said...

Good luck with everything!!

Stephanie said...

Best of luck to you. I know its not want you wanted to hear, but hopefull knwoing that will help your chances!
My prayers are with you guys for a positive VERY soon!!

Happily Ever After said...

Best wishes. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers! :)

Mrs. Hammer said...

Infertility is certainly something that no one expects especially when they tell you IVF may be your only chance. Just this past month I had Hammer take Fertilaid and it double his numbers (he finally had normal numbers after almost 3 years) I'll be praying that you have similar results. You may also want to consider having your hubby visit a Urologist. Hilary at Making Me Mom just went through that process and it might be helpful to see if that would be something you guys would want to explore (I have her link on my blog roll). I've also been reading "IVF for Couples" which has been helpful as that is our next step. I have similar issues with the ethics but it's helped me know what I am willing to do and NOT willing to compromise on. I'll keep you in my prayers!

Rachel said...

Of course no one wants to know something is causing you to NOT get pg, but at the same time I HATED being unexplained. When we figured out our serious MF issue, I felt a little more at ease. Strange cuz IVF (or the cost of it) ain't no walk in the park, but at least it had a GREAT chance of working. (which it did!)

I hope you get what you're looking for. And glad my post helped you!

michelle said...

I came across your blog..through some others on SITS...anyways I am so glad I did...you are in my thoughts......my husband and I have been there...I know how you are feeling...:)

I have read some of your posts and know you are not alone in how you are feeling...and I love your quotes!

m:)
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