Shots and Shenanigans

Thursday, 1-14-10 (Day 16)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): Three days in a row, seriously?

Starbucks and I are not okay. Not only are they taking all of my money and making me fat, but they are messing with my head. All I can think about is creamy carmel hot chocolate with sweet whip cream and decatant chocolate drizzle.

:::sigh:::

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): There's a new issue plaguing me now, one that started just a few days ago. I tried to brush off, but it just keeps coming floating back up to the surface and I can't help but wonder if it's related to this tiny little bee sting shot.

Pregnancy brain.

It's getting me into all sorts of shenanigans. I locked my keys in the car, drove past the freeway exit on my way to work, and even left my cell phone at home two days in a row. I've always been slightly clumsy despite the fact that my name means graceful gazelle, but forgetful? Not so much. I'm the queen of organization and thoroughness, so this new and awkward state of mind is starting to drive me bananas.

Maybe I'm overreacting, this could all just be a side effect of the high fructose corn syrup and hot chocolate overload.

Follistim (150 units, subQ injection): My husband, the master of the Follistim pen was granted permission to leave last night to work on a side job down south, so I was on my own tonight.

I was a little worried at first, but as soon as I held that bulky blue pen in my hands and turned the dial, it just felt right. No stinging, no burning, and no uncomfortable tugging feeling.

Don't tell him I said so, but I'm way better at it.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection): All I had to do was put on a fresh needle, tap out the bubble, push up the syringe and use the left over injection from last night.

I could get used to this.

Friday, 1-15-10 (Day 17)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): I've stopped the madness, and refused to grant my stomach's request for Starbucks. It was difficult, but that's to be expected I suppose.

The first step is always recognizing the problem.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): I can't believe I'm actually documenting this, but I locked my keys in the car again today.

It was late, I was tired, and Target was closed, so I just had to run to Walmart to complete my living room decor at the last minute by picking up a few more mirrors. I stepped out of the car, manually hit the lock button and slammed the door shut. And then-just as I walked through the ginormous electronic sliding glass doors-I realized what I had done; although I couldn't figure out why I'd done it.

Luckily my little brother likes to stay up late and play video games, so he was able to run over to my duplex, pick up my extra set of keys, and drive them back into town to his ridiculously forgetful sister who was stranded at Walmart at 11:00pm.

He's going to be an amazing uncle.

Follistim (150units, subQ injection): It's amazing to me how simple this injection is when it's self administered.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection): Another perfect mix, draw and shot. I even had the exact amount needed left over for tomorrows injections. I'm just so pleased with how well this cycle is going, it's almost too good to be true.

I almost miss the drama of it all.

Almost.

Saturday, 1-16-10 (Day 18)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): One more day free of the bonds of Starbucks.

And one more day of staring at my yoga mat in the corner of the room.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): My bruise is finally starting to deteriorate. It's almost weird to look down and see flesh colored skin instead of a rainbow.

Follistim (150 units, subQ injection): I know I keep talking about how carefree this cycle has been, how little I've been stressing and how blessed I feel to be a part of this. But today I amazed even myself when I returned home from a long day of shopping in town and realized that it was almost 10pm and I had forgotten to take my shots.

Completely forgotten.

I'm in the middle of my third IVF attempt, so of course I'm used to the meds, I know how my body is going to react, and I can handle pretty much anything that comes my way. But to be so unstressed and unconcerned with a cycle that I completely forgot to take my stimulation and quality control meds until it was almost too late?

Now that's impressive.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection): Is it weird that I'm almost disappointed at the lack of problems I've ran into so far with this drug? The absence of strange shooting places and crazy traveling stories? Is it odd that I feel slightly boring in the face of my almost perfect cycle?

I'm pretty sure it is.

Sunday, 1-17-10 (Day 19)

Dexamethasone (.75mg, oral pill): I'm finally starting to feel the fullness of the drugs kicking in, now that my tiny little meatballs are growing; so it's time to stop worrying about a lack of yoga and brisk walking, and concentrate more on eating right.

Lupron (5units, subQ injection): The pregnancy brain has worsened.

After church this afternoon, a group of us decided to head to Red Robin for lunch. When it was over and we were all headed back home, I walked with a set of friends out to their car since they parked beside me. After saying our goodbyes, I got in the passenger seat, started the engine, and waited patiently for my husband to join me.

And then I saw him pull up next to me.

In his truck.

I had completely forgotten that due to the fact that I'd left my cell phone home again, we had taken two separate vehicles to lunch. And it's a good thing he pulled up next to me, or I would have sat there in the rain, with the car running, for a very long time.

Follistim (150units, subQ injection): Even though my husband is back home with me, I found an excuse to give myself the Follistim injection again tonight.

I sort of feel bad about it, since he's been labeled as the Follistim mater and all. It really is his only major contribution to the process-besides the sperm, of course-and I think it helps him to feel needed and more useful.

Luveris (1/2ml, subQ injection): I'm feeling really good about the addition of this drug a day earlier this cycle; and I'm praying that it really helps to boost the quality of my little meatballs.

Just a few more days, and we'll know for sure.

Tomorrow I wake up bright and early and leave town with my mother to check out what we have cooking inside my crock pot ovaries. We'll find out if the change in protocol has improved our sporadic egg sizes or dramatized them. We'll speak with the doctor and spend the next few days deciding trigger times, retrieval schedules and transfer dates.

And I can't believe it's already time.

But I am so ready.

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing, always watching for distractions and shenanigans along the way.”

-Wayne Dyer