We Have A Plan

After meeting with the Dr. last Thursday, he found us to be good candidates for an IUI. We are very happy with him; he listened to all of our questions and concerns, answering in complete detail and thoroughly explaining everything for us. He seemed pretty surprised that all of the other Dr.'s we've seen have brushed us off, telling us we are "fine". He said after this long, it's about time we start doing something about this. So here's the plan:

CD 5-9: 50mg of Clomid
CD15: sonogram to check follicle size & trigger
CD16: IUI #1 (12 hours after trigger)
CD17: IUI #2 (36 hours after trigger)
CD19: Start progesterone supplements

Even though my body ovulates on it's own we are going to try out Clomid to see if we can't get some stronger results, or at least a few extra "targets" to hit. I have to admit, I'm pretty nervous about the Clomid. Up to this point the only thing we've done is chart ovulation and my period. Now we are going to introduce a fertility drug into the mix, and I guess it just seems so official! After that, he plans to do a sonogram to check the growth and see how mature my eggs are, and if they are ready he may give me a trigger shot to ensure a timed ovulation. Then the IUI, which will hopefully help bypass any "hostile cervical mucous" that I may have (there is a possibility that the reason we aren't getting pregnant is because my body treats sperm as a foreign anti-body and kills the sperm before it has a chance to reach my cervix. The IUI will allow the sperm to be placed safely inside my cervix, and away from any sperm-killing CM). Then finally, progesterone supplements. I'm pretty excited about these, because for the last year I have been experiencing horrible spotting before my periods. My progesterone levels have been checked pre-ovulation and said to be fine, but this progesterone should stop this ugly spotting once and for all.

So that's our plan. We are trying to keep in mind that while medical intervention in most situations can help achieve results, only GOD is in control and can give us the baby we have been praying for. For now we'll just have to give an IUI a shot, and hope for the best.

"100% of the shots you don't take don't go in."
-Wayne Gretzky

Open Doors

We’re getting this party started!

Our initial appointment for an IUI is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon! We have no doubt this is the best decision for us right now. Without going into too much detail, we have recently seen God open many doors for us, and He has made this opportunity-and decision-a very obvious one.

My reasoning? I think our situation is so debatable because we were sort of thrown into the unexplained category, meaning that even thought they can’t find anything wrong, most likely there is something hindering us from achieving a pregnancy. Lovely, right? Anyway, because of this questionable diagnosis some think that we should just keep trying and stop worrying about it since there is nothing wrong with us, which is true. To an extent. But I believe that if God opens up doors for us, why shouldn’t we walk through them?

I’ve also realized that following through with and IUI isn't showing a lack of faith, it’s actually quite the opposite. It’s a simple as this: We prayed, God opened a door, and now we are walking through it. And please don’t get me wrong, I don’t assume that just because God presented this opportunity to us means that this IUI will necessarily be successful and promise to bring a guaranteed pregnancy; but that’s where faith comes in.

We definitely want a baby in God’s time, but who am I to say this opportunity wasn’t handed to us by God and isn’t in His timing? I'd hate to refuse this blessing just because this isn’t how I originally envisioned getting pregnant, because this wasn’t in my original plan for starting our family. We just have to believe that God will take care of us, and bring us comfort and healing no matter what the future holds.

Again, thank you to everyone who offered us their advice and words of wisdom, even to those who advised us against an IUI. We are so grateful for every single one of you. Please continue to keep us in your prayers, and I’ll post an update after our appointment tomorrow!

"When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us."
- Alexander Graham Bell

To IUI, Or Not To IUI?

That is the question.

*sigh* I thought this was going to be an easy decision, but my period is just around the corner and I just can’t make up my mind. Should I attempt to wait a few more months in hopes that we still may achieve a pregnancy on our own, or should I make that appointment that will result in my body being artificially inseminated like a female cow? Neither one sounds very appealing at the moment.

I always thought that if/when my husband and I reached this infamous 19 month mark it would be easy to give up control and surrender to the wonders of the medical world…but I’m finding it more difficult than ever to accept the fact that I probably won’t get pregnant on my own. I’m fully aware that the odds are against me after all this time, especially since there is nothing wrong with either of us and we are categorized as unexplained. But I can’t help but be sad, because this just isn’t how I thought it would be. I never imagined that in order for me to get pregnant it would most likely take a vial of sperm and a huge syringe in a cold, sterile room. Then of course there is the gut-wrenching fear that after going through all of the poking, prodding and money spending it may not even work. It just seems so wrong.

Then, last night while I was on a walk around the neighborhood I started to cry, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I guess I had all of these emotions bottled up and they had to flow out. I prayed and prayed and prayed, asking God for wisdom and guidance in this decision, but I couldn’t help but feel that my prayers were bouncing off the sky. I know that was just my head getting in the way of my heart, and that God undoubtedly heard my prayers, but this is a tough decision to make while you’re already in a PMS induced emotional state.

Regardless, it needs to be made soon, and I know that God will lead my husband and I in the right direction. I just pray that we'll listen.

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
-Yogi Berra